By Dr. Sue Morter

There are more than seven billion people living on this planet which means more than seven billion personalities, opinions and ways of seeing the world. With so many diverse and varying ideologies and socio-cultural milieus, someone is bound to act in a way, or say something that upsets another.

The question is: Do we always have to take everything so personally? If not, how do we make what seems personal, impersonal?

Ego: Why We Take Things Personally
From the time we are young, usually before we’re even ten years old, situations or moments in life occur where we feel unsafe or insecure, or someone says something that makes us feel unlovable. When this happens, we begin to develop a second self, or a false self. That false self is often the “ego,” which I like to call the “protective personality” because no one likes to have an ego, but people don’t seem to mind having a “protective personality.”

At that early stage in life, our protective personality represents our best effort to deal with situations and emotions that are unfamiliar to us. In these situations, we experience ourselves from a sense of lack, because the ego, or the protective personality, is based upon the feeling that our authentic self isn’t enough. We feel we have to create another version of who we are in this world to be okay, accepted and loved.

The problem is, this rational is based in fear.

The “protective personality” is based in fear because we established it in moments we didn’t feel safe. As we live from this place of not feeling safe, we have a tendency to be hyper-vigilant. We look around constantly to see, “Am I okay? Am I safe? Is this okay? Am I doing the right thing?”

Because we’re based in fear we’re hyper-vigilantly looking to see if we can be safe and relax, which causes us to constantly check with everyone to see if they’re okay too – our parents, grandparents, and even teachers, who have a huge influence on us in these early stages of our development. We ask, “Are you okay? Because if you’re not okay, you might make me not okay.” And then we think if the other person isn’t ok, then we can’t relax either.

When this happens, we have a tendency to take things personally because we’re standing in a place of fear and we begin projecting those fears onto other people. We have a feeling that what they’re doing is having a direct influence on us, and our entire reality becomes oriented around our sense of safety.

For example: If someone you know is being quiet. They may be peacefully quiet and contemplative about any number of beautiful things. But for someone near to them observing the silence, they may take that silence personally and begin to act as if what they’re afraid of is true. They’re afraid that if the other isn’t okay, then they are not ok and soon, they begin to act as if they’re not okay either.

They begin creating a reality based upon their fear. They start getting short, or maybe develop a sense of aloofness or detachment, or some kind of lack of love, simply out of protection all because that person is taking personally something that which wasn’t even personal to begin with. The real reality is, maybe the person was quiet because they were thinking about a secret vacation to plan for the other. But because the person didn’t know, they took the silence personally and because our circuitry is built on fear, we fill in the blanks with information containing a negative, protecting type of story. When we live in the world of story, filling in blanks with the information that we don’t actually know, we’re taking it personally.

A Simple Story
There is a story about a young man who wanted to go fishing with his father. His older brothers were always invited to go fishing with his father, and he was never asked to go. Finally, when he was old enough and his father invited him to go, they planned to get up the very next morning to go to this special fishing spot. But when the little boy woke up the next morning, his father and his two brothers were already gone.

He took it personally. He realized it meant his father and brothers must think he wasn’t capable, that he wasn’t old enough, smart enough or good enough. He even thought maybe he wasn’t loved enough to be able to go on this fishing journey with his father and brothers.

What actually happened was – they forgot. They had gone through their rituals so many times, walking through the regular process of packing up the gear and getting in the car and they had simple forgot. The little boy went through all of these gyrations of all the possible explanations, and all that actually happened was, they forgot.

This is what we do. All that actually happens in our life, is something as simple as an oversight and we write an entire story underneath of it that causes us to take something personally that was never intended to be personal in the first place.

Defense Physiology
Each time this happens, it causes us to move into defense physiology which eventually exhausts our adrenal glands. It can create all kinds of hormonal imbalances, chemical imbalances, digestive imbalances leading to allergies, and asthma, and all kinds of chain reactions that come from writing stories because we’re taking things personal, when we really don’t need to be.

So, the invitation is to come fully present to what actually is happening in the moment. You can ask yourself, “How often am I writing the story about what was meant behind what they did?

If you’re filling in the blanks and taking it personally, you’re writing a story that is likely putting you into a defense/protective/survival physiology, which can inhibit us from our natural ability to self-heal. Our whole life starts to go down an entirely different road, simply because we’re acting and reacting from this “protective personality” and taking things personally.

When to Take Things Personally
On the other side of the coin, we tend never to take things personally we think are far too grand to include us. We think success is meant for someone else, that joy is meant for other couples. We think that position at work will probably go to the person who’s been there longer, even though we might be more talented in some way. We don’t allow ourselves to step personally into the ideas that are grand and magnificent, so we leave ourselves out of the things that we hold as impersonal.

These are the types of things we should take more personally and allow ourselves to be included. And the things that we tend to take personally, we need to allow them to be less personal and more objective.

If we could shift these two realities just a little, we would start to see a vibrational match to where we’re really intended to be living in life. Opportunities would start to open up and joy would start to be experienced. Intimacy can return to our relationships because we’re no longer holding ourselves at bay from the things that we think we need to protect ourselves from because we were projecting and taking something personally.

Tips for Not Taking it Personally
There’s a simple exercise we can do to stop coming from the protective personality, stop taking things personally and stop projecting our fears onto others.

Just by coming back home to ourselves physically, we call our energy back onto the core of our being, and bring our conscious attention back into our central channel. The moment that we feel ourselves being defensive, or we feel edgy or agitated or a little off in a situation, we can immediately do the work of coming into the core, breathing into the belly, squeezing the heart so we can feel ourselves oriented in this central channel again, and allow the orientation of our energy to come again from this deep centered area.

It is grounded, it is connected and we can more easily peel this protected personality off of us and see it for what it is in that moment. We can instead come from the Essential, soulful and authentic self in a manner that allows us to remember that love is here for us. Love is always present. We’re never disconnected from it as long as we are anchored in our deep core.


By Dr. Sue Morter

We all feel sad, lonely or depressed from time to time in our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one or a disappointment we’re facing, feeling a heaviness at life for a period of time is natural. When that heaviness and lack of energy becomes our constant state of living however, we may be experiencing a more serious form of depression.

If you feel this constant state of depression in your life, you are not alone. In fact, Major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults. (Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005 Jun; 62(6): 617-27).

When you look at depression through the lens of Energy Medicine, there are many techniques you can use to help alleviate the symptoms of depression and regain a sense of vitality and joy in your life once again.


Depression is Stuck Energy

Quantum science teaches that everything in all of creation is energy – including you.  In it’s natural, unobstructed state, energy is meant to be constantly moving, especially inside the human system. However, we as humans, have the ability to shut down that energy flow when we worry, get angry or experience other undesired emotions.

Chronic depression results when we aren’t able to process an emotional experience completely.  When the energy behind those emotions isn’t metabolized, it becomes heavy, or dense, in the energy field. When this happens, the energy field becomes compressed and, in regards to the human condition, on an emotional level, it feels like what we call depression.

It’s important to recognize that when we feel this compressed, heavy, depressed kind of feeling, it isn’t because there’s something wrong with us; it simply represents the fact we haven’t completely metabolized some emotional experience we’ve encountered.

To remedy this feeling of heavy, unprocessed energy, we have to learn to go back and be present for ourselves in a way that we were unable to be present when the situation originally occurred.


Processing Unresolved Emotions

One of the ways that we can begin to process unresolved emotions is to take our attention inside the body and ask ourselves the following question:

“When I think about how I’m feeling right now, where in my body do I feel the heaviest? Where do I feel that there’s a gap in the energy flow in my body?”

If you don’t know how to feel the energy flow in our body, simply ask, “Where in my body is the energy any different than it is in the rest of my body?” The mind will go to where it needs to go, and from there, our task is to bring our loving attention into that place in the body where the mind has landed.

As we focus on the particular area in our body and bring a breath of loving presence to it, we begin to feel held. We start to feel a sense of self, or a sense of wellbeing, that was never associated with this emotional situation before.

Once we start to experience this feeling of wellbeing, our next step is to breathe up and down through the system of the body. This begins to move the stuck energy, and results in a sense of flow again. When that flow returns to the energy system, the energy field begins to once again become robust. As this happens, we start to feel lighter, more available, present and clear.  Our state of depression begins to shift and we feel ourselves getting better because we’re more functional.


It’s as Easy as Moving Energy

So, you may be wondering if all you have to do when you’re depressed is take your attention to the core of the body and find a knot in your stomach or heaviness in your heart, and squeeze it as you start to breathe, and you’re going to be well?

There’s a little more to it than that, but the most important thing to understand is that breathing sets the energy in motion again and causes it to begin moving through our system. As that energy is set into motion, we start to have a vital force flowing through the body.

I teach techniques in The Energy Codes® coursework that allow individuals to align their breath with the central channel of their body, which causes the energy to pick up a powerfully-focused momentum through the system.  It has a unique impact in the body and is very different than just taking a deep breath and hoping you feel better in a moment.

There are many other techniques along these lines we can do to start to raise the vibrational frequency of the body.


Techniques for Raising Your Vibration

Depression is simply compressed energy, so anything that we can do to raise that energy and expand it out again is going to be a good modality in an integrative sense to move ourselves into a new state in life.

There are many types of activity we can do to help raise our vibration:

  • We can get our bodies in motion by exercising, which results in the release of endorphins that help us feel better immediately. Breathing up and down the central channel of our body while we’re exercising is even better.
  • Eating an alkalizing diet helps immensely. This means eating lots of fruits and vegetables, as close to nature as possible, will raise the vibrational frequency of the body and create an uplifting feeling.
  • If we can start to do all of these things at the same time (exercising, breathing through the central channel and eating an alkalizing diet) there will be a collaborative effect on the body that picks up the momentum faster than anything else we could do.

The body has the capacity to heal and to be thriving and vital and highly creative.  If we’re not experiencing that or if we’re suffering feelings of depression, there’s a reason and also a solution. We must begin by putting all of the above techniques together at the same time.

In that moment, time is on our side, and life is on our side. We’re supposed to be whole and healthy and vital and life is about flowing energy. Anything that we can do to get the energy flowing in our system again allows us to feel more alive, vital, and more capable of managing and developing the life of our dreams.


By Dr. Sue Morter

If you’ve ever attended The Energy Codes® coursework, watched a video of mine or heard me on an interview, you’ve probably heard me mention, “building circuits” more than a few times. I speak about circuits frequently because the amount of energetic circuits in our bodies are the key to living an expansive and magnificent life. But what are circuits exactly, and why do we need to build them?

To understand circuits, you must first understand this truth: You are perfect.

You live in a perfect world and the truth is, everything is fine. If you’re not perceiving your world to be okay, or living the life you dream of, the reason for this is simply a circuitry issue.


Building Circuitry to Tap Our Authentic Self

When we first come into this life, we have a certain amount of circuitry in place to experience this world. Based on the circuitry we’re born with, we start to develop a limited way of interacting with everything and everyone around us. The way we respond to others – parents, teachers, bosses and friends – is all based upon circuitry we have put in place.

The issue is, this circuitry wasn’t built by our authentic self, but from our protective self, or our ego.

Our ego is simply the part of ourselves that functions from a limited awareness of the world and is in place to protect us. (I like to call it our “protective personality.”) With our protective personality, we have an image of who we are, how things are supposed to go, and how we’re supposed to perform in the world. It’s all based upon what we think we should be doing and so we go through school, go into the work world, develop relationships, and find ways of engaging in the outer world that’s based on a limited version of true self.

We aren’t able to live from our authentic, true self all the time because we haven’t built the circuits to tap into it on a day-to-day basis. If we had the circuits in place to access it, we would be living from a constant flow of knowingness in our lives, courageously speaking our truth with every breath and living from our heart-of-hearts. Living from our true self, we would feel completely whole and at peace with the world as well as our place within it.

To tap into this truth, we have to build a way of living that allows us to be in constant touch with that part of ourselves. We must maintain this connection so we don’t ever disperse ourselves back out into our protective personality, the one that is hypervigilant and always looking to the outer world to see if we’re okay.

We build and maintain the connection to our truthful self by building circuits in our body.


Understanding How to Build Circuits

There are two systems that run our bodies. One is an electromagnetic energy system and the other one is the central nervous system.

We often hear about the central nervous system because it’s a part of our physical body and something we can see, touch and study. We rarely hear about the electromagnetic energy system however, because it’s something we can’t perceive with the naked eye. This is unfortunate, because the electromagnetic energy system is actually the one that controls the central nervous system and, if we can master the electromagnetic system, we can master the central nervous system.

The electromagnetic energy system has to do with the part of you that you can’t really put your finger on but can feel around your body sometimes.

For example, have you ever been sitting and working on your computer and, without hearing or seeing anything, you sense someone is there? When you turn around, you see in fact that someone is standing there. What has happened is this person stepped into your electromagnetic energy field. You could feel them because the electromagnetic energy field is much bigger than your physical body.

The electromagnetic energy system is made of channels of flowing energy, referred to in the Eastern traditions as the Meridians, Nadis or the Sushumna. These energy channels affect the physical body by impacting the central nervous system.

The central nervous system has channels of nerve impulses with synapses of neurons carrying messages in a linear fashion from one nerve to the next. If the electromagnetic energy system is chaotic, dispersed, weakened or agitated, it keys the nervous system to be on-guard and to sense that something is not safe. This causes us to start looking around with our five senses to figure out: Am I safe? Do I hear anything? Do I see anything? What’s happening?

So, the circuits running through the electromagnetic system act as a communications system. Most people have been living on a certain amount of circuitry based on survival, which is only 20-30% of what they’re capable of experiencing. By building more circuits in our system, we can begin to expand our experience of the life we live.


Building Circuits for An Expansive Life

If we want to be able to build more communication pathways – or circuits – in our overall system, we must spend more time as a creative self instead of spending all our time as our survivor self.

We have to start living in a way that allows us to be creative and empowered and begin generating our life experiences instead of waiting for someone else to create something for us. We have to stop waiting for someone else to bring us something we enjoy so that we can have an enjoyable life or stop waiting for someone to act in a way we don’t like so we can use our resistance to figure out who we are and what we stand for. Either way, we end up sitting around waiting for our life to begin, and that’s not our destiny. It’s not what we’re built for.

We came here to this life to have a creative expression in the world and to experience and generate heaven on earth.

If we’re not experiencing a sense of heaven on earth, it’s because our electromagnetic energy system isn’t flowing in an organized way. It isn’t generating a strong enough impulse to trigger our nervous system to build the synapses and wiring of nerve impulses to ground, anchor and sustain it.


Creating a Sustainable Set of Circuits

The central nervous system has the ability to have a conscious and a subconscious set of circuits that are constantly running our lives. What many don’t realize is that the subconscious set of circuits – the part we’re not really in touch with or aware of – is the part that’s driving our lives.

This is why we so often lose touch with that New Year’s Eve resolution we came up with, or that inspiring vision we have for ourselves. We place images on our vision board in the hopes it will manifest, but we soon fall out of the flow and get distracted from where we really wanted to go. The reason for that is we don’t have enough circuitry to anchor our awareness in a consistent enough fashion for it to manifest.
Without enough circuitry, we end up starting over again all the time. We constantly have new ideas and grand ideas of the life we would love to be living. We make plans and become excited, but then a few months down the road, we don’t even remember having that amazing vision. We make a New Year’s resolution and within a few weeks or months, we don’t even remember we made it, what it was, or the details of how magnificent it felt when we first starting planning it.

To accomplish these type of life goals, we have to build the circuitry, or pathways of communication, to be able to acknowledge it, ignite it, and sustain it long enough that it can actually manifest in our lives.

What we do in The Energy Codes coursework is learn how to complete those loops of our goals and build the neuro-circuitry to sustain our visions that come from our true, authentic self. The feeling and inspiration come from deep within our core where our true self resides. The empowered reality that awaits us is there all the time. The issue is, we haven’t had the circuits in place to be able to perceive it.

We have to learn how to do that. We begin, by building a sensory awareness at the core of our being that allows us to reference this sensation constantly. We must always be in touch with the gut, in touch with our heart of hearts and our own deep wisdom that’s already been collected in our lives.

If that’s not happening, then something needs to be done. More circuits need to be built.

So, if you have a hard time with follow through or completing the loops on the grand visions and dreams in your life, then it’s time to build more circuits in your system. I invite you to tune into The Energy Codes and learn to tap into the tremendous wisdom and wealth of information that is waiting for you to learn how to build more circuitry and begin living the life of your dreams.